After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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