I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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