i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
