I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize