ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
