My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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