it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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