Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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