yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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