she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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