he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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