feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize