This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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