dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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