The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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