Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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