On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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