i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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