this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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