You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
