my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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