we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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