I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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