Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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