my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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