Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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