just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
