You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
