Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
