Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
