never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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