maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
