I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
