it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
