8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
