I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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