Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
