If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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