Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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