They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.