I think my vagina is haunted
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?