ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?