Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this will be a night to untag.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
