i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
