I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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