I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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