I wish i was in the wii world.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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