I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
