I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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