if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
