Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
