I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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