I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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