dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize