I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
