I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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