Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I sprained my soul last night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
