I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
