I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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