I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
