I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
