Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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