Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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