If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So many bounce houses so little time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
